{Eddie} Memories - Moments in Time
Jul. 21st, 2009 12:54 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wayfarers_lodgeOOC This is messy, sorry guys. It just sort of came tumbling out
IC
High school is bullshit, Eddie thought as they wandered through the university, but fuck, they come up with some awesome excursions. Their year seven history class was doing 'Aboriginal studies' (fuck, they dragged up some obscure, stupid balls and made a big deal out of it), and so there needed to be an excursion to stop the kids going crazy in the classroom. The university was usually very obliging, and the Aboriginal History department was apparently one of the best resources in the state.
The university guide was small and blonde, and chattered animatedly about the various tribes, their interaction with the early settlers, and all of the unpleasantness that followed thereafter. Eddie pretended not to notice the other students, and even the teachers looking at her occasionally. She hadn't encountered the concept known as 'white guilt', but the looks on their faces spoke clearly, and they said 'Oh God, i'm so sorry.' She tried not to pay attention as the guide wandered on- this was actually interesting to her, and made her want to learn more.
"And here we have testimony taken from several victims of the Stolen Generations. Now, for those of you who aren't aware, the Stolen Generations took place from about 1869 to 1970, where children were removed from their families for 'child protection' purposes, although several sources clearly state the agenda of 'naturalising' the Aboriginal people, that is, making them fit into Anglo-European society. Miss, are you alright? Is this troubling you?"
Eddie was surprised to find the guide talking to her, and even more surprised to find that she was crying, and she didn't understand why- then it dawned on her. No one had told her about this. It had been implied, sure, and mentioned occasionally in the Aboriginal culture lessons in primary school (because how can a child understand that?), but always skated over, especially by her mother's people.
She nodded numbly, hating all the eyes on her, hating the fact that this stupid blonde woman had brought it to everyone's attention, hating the fact that she, the big, tough, strong girl was CRYING in front of everyone. The guide continued, oblivious to her anger, as everyone else stepped away from her and Eddie alike.
"Was... someone you know taken?"
She went to speak, but her mouth was dry, and no sound came out. She swallowed hard and tried again.
"My... my father."
She was vaguely aware that she was shaking, but all she could feel and see was her father's vague mentions of being taken from his family, and the memory of her father's face when the judge ruled that sole custody was being awarded to her mother. She would never forget the look in his eyes, that she didn't understand then, but she knew now that it was screaming 'No, not again, not my daughter'.
The tour guide came closer, a look of sympathy on her face.
"There, now, I understand-" she said, reaching out a hand to pat Eddie's arm. Eddie yanked it away sharply, and snarled.
"DON'T TOUCH! BAD! DON'T TOUCH!" she shouted, but it came out in a different tongue, slurred and half forgotten, in the simple childish words that her father had spoken to her when she was much younger. The looks went from shocked to nervous quickly, and everyone around her took half a step back as her arm snapped up to slap the guide's hand away.
She straightened herself, still fighting the urge to hurt the stupid, blonde, white guide, and turned to leave.
"You don't understand. You can't. Don't say you do."
No one stopped her.
---
A teacher found her not long afterwards, sitting under a tree in one of the University's green spaces, eyes closed.
"Please don't tell my mother."
The teacher paused, a respectful distance away. Instead of saying 'We must tell her', she asked the important question.
"Why not?"
Eddie opened her eyes. They were bleak and angry.
"Because she wants me to forget that I am Tharawal, wants me to forget everything my father taught me before she took me away from him. Don't they say the Stolen Generations are over?"
Eddie laughed bitterly, and the teacher nodded.
"Alright. We won't mention it."
IC
High school is bullshit, Eddie thought as they wandered through the university, but fuck, they come up with some awesome excursions. Their year seven history class was doing 'Aboriginal studies' (fuck, they dragged up some obscure, stupid balls and made a big deal out of it), and so there needed to be an excursion to stop the kids going crazy in the classroom. The university was usually very obliging, and the Aboriginal History department was apparently one of the best resources in the state.
The university guide was small and blonde, and chattered animatedly about the various tribes, their interaction with the early settlers, and all of the unpleasantness that followed thereafter. Eddie pretended not to notice the other students, and even the teachers looking at her occasionally. She hadn't encountered the concept known as 'white guilt', but the looks on their faces spoke clearly, and they said 'Oh God, i'm so sorry.' She tried not to pay attention as the guide wandered on- this was actually interesting to her, and made her want to learn more.
"And here we have testimony taken from several victims of the Stolen Generations. Now, for those of you who aren't aware, the Stolen Generations took place from about 1869 to 1970, where children were removed from their families for 'child protection' purposes, although several sources clearly state the agenda of 'naturalising' the Aboriginal people, that is, making them fit into Anglo-European society. Miss, are you alright? Is this troubling you?"
Eddie was surprised to find the guide talking to her, and even more surprised to find that she was crying, and she didn't understand why- then it dawned on her. No one had told her about this. It had been implied, sure, and mentioned occasionally in the Aboriginal culture lessons in primary school (because how can a child understand that?), but always skated over, especially by her mother's people.
She nodded numbly, hating all the eyes on her, hating the fact that this stupid blonde woman had brought it to everyone's attention, hating the fact that she, the big, tough, strong girl was CRYING in front of everyone. The guide continued, oblivious to her anger, as everyone else stepped away from her and Eddie alike.
"Was... someone you know taken?"
She went to speak, but her mouth was dry, and no sound came out. She swallowed hard and tried again.
"My... my father."
She was vaguely aware that she was shaking, but all she could feel and see was her father's vague mentions of being taken from his family, and the memory of her father's face when the judge ruled that sole custody was being awarded to her mother. She would never forget the look in his eyes, that she didn't understand then, but she knew now that it was screaming 'No, not again, not my daughter'.
The tour guide came closer, a look of sympathy on her face.
"There, now, I understand-" she said, reaching out a hand to pat Eddie's arm. Eddie yanked it away sharply, and snarled.
"DON'T TOUCH! BAD! DON'T TOUCH!" she shouted, but it came out in a different tongue, slurred and half forgotten, in the simple childish words that her father had spoken to her when she was much younger. The looks went from shocked to nervous quickly, and everyone around her took half a step back as her arm snapped up to slap the guide's hand away.
She straightened herself, still fighting the urge to hurt the stupid, blonde, white guide, and turned to leave.
"You don't understand. You can't. Don't say you do."
No one stopped her.
---
A teacher found her not long afterwards, sitting under a tree in one of the University's green spaces, eyes closed.
"Please don't tell my mother."
The teacher paused, a respectful distance away. Instead of saying 'We must tell her', she asked the important question.
"Why not?"
Eddie opened her eyes. They were bleak and angry.
"Because she wants me to forget that I am Tharawal, wants me to forget everything my father taught me before she took me away from him. Don't they say the Stolen Generations are over?"
Eddie laughed bitterly, and the teacher nodded.
"Alright. We won't mention it."
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2009-07-20 03:35 pm (UTC)Also, I know I mentioned this vaguelly in auscam but do city schools have aunts and uncles? I know all Kempsey schools (high and primary) had aunts and uncles who worked with the children, especially on excursions like this. Looks like it'll be an interesting character and I look forward to reading more :)
no subject
Date: 2009-07-21 02:43 am (UTC)You mentioned the Auntie/Uncle thing, and no, we don't have it. I think it sounds pretty epic- very hard to not feel sympathy for something when it comes from a personal level. I'd really love to hear more about it. The secretary of the man I had contact with is actually from the tribes around Armidale, and grew up there- I told her about the ice on the windscreen, and she said 'Yeah, that's Armidale'
I'm glad you enjoyed her. Trying REALLY hard not to just make her a racial hat. While she's very Aboriginal, I like to think there's more to her than that :D
=^..^=
no subject
Date: 2009-07-21 12:09 am (UTC)It's very emotively written, KT. You communicate her pain and conflict extremely well.
*climbs back into her box*
P.
no subject
Date: 2009-07-21 03:20 am (UTC)How can I even begin to understand something like that? How can I do that justice?
That being said, I think it's something I can at least give a try. Thank you for the praise, it makes me feel like i'm doing it right.
=^..^=