wayfarers_lodge (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
wayfarers_lodge) wrote2009-02-23 04:38 am
wayfarers_lodge) wrote2009-02-23 04:38 am
{Nicolette} Girls of the Night- Moments in Time
"Night-time is where we live, night is where we give everything we have to give..."
It was early in the morning, after another long weekend of clubs, drugs and sex. Nicolette sat in the corner of her room, eyes staring into nothing, rocking backward and forward.
Her mouth felt dry. She ran her tongue over her lips, painfully aware it wouldn't actually do anything to stop the cracking, shrivelling sensation that spread from inside out, not even if she partook of the Flowers of Ghede Nibo. She ran her hands over her naked arms, try to stop the shivering. She never liked the ghouls to see her like this. They'd get fretful, and start worrying that they had done something wrong- even months of constant reassurances couldn't undo the damage that Wellington had done to them.
"Some lovers can rejoice- we don't have a choice, we just know we have to give..."
It felt wrong, serving as a Regnant, even to these poor, lost ghouls. She hated the thought that she might hurt them one day, might turn away from them as her Lord and Sire had turned away from her.
She bit back a dry, heartless sob, forcing herself to not think of the man that had loved her, had promised to make her perfect- and then replaced her with some new pretty thing as soon as she was gone. Two hundred years of service and belief and worship, now lying still with a stake of wood in his heart- when the term of his sentence was up, he probably wouldn't even remember her.
"That's why the day can never be bright, for the girls of the night..."
Tribulation brings Enlightenment. That's what Maman Latour had taught her. But too much could break. But She never gave more than Her children could endure, right? Even if she was broken, there was some purpose to it, right, some rebuilding?
She needed someone to serve, to give her direction. Makoto had vanished into the night, Claude was gone, Maman Akuete and Maman Kincaid were surely busy with their own business, and there was no Hierophant in Sydney anymore- there was no one left. She was left in charge of a small gaggle of ghouls with no one to advise her, and without advice, she was lost.
"Lucy, do you really need to fill your heart with empty dreams? You'll always be what you are - stop chasing that distant star..."
And worst of all, there was the one that she couldn't think about, lest it drive her mad with helplessness, but only remember in peripheral thoughts, in the sensation of teeth brushing against flesh her shoulder and the scent of feather oil mixed in with her hair.
She looked up the roof, eyes not seeing anything, voice cracking over the notes of the song, trying desperately to think of anything but what wasn't anymore. She had a duty, and somewhere to stay, and people who needed her. Wasn't that enough?
"Ask me to share your fantasies, dear, but don't ask me where tomorrow is. Don't ask me where to find happiness, though I know for sure where sorrow is..."
"Nicolette, are you alright?"
One of the ghouls popped his head around the door, and his eyes widened with concern as he crossed the room, lifting her to her feet by the arms.
"Oh, Nicolette, please, you need to get up. Come on, your Ceridwyn wouldn't want to see you like this, would she?"
Ceridwyn. The name pierced her sorrow like a knife to the heart. Hierophant, lover, best friend, saviour, dead and gone and it was all her fault.
The ghoul didn't seem to notice Nicolette become more withdrawn for a moment, and continued chattering.
"Come on now, let's get you into bed for the day, shall we? Get you nice and comfortable, and we'll see if we can't get some of the boys in here to keep you company, spice things up for you a little..."
She smiled numbly, because that's what she was was expected to do.
"Yes. That would be lovely."
That's why the day can never be bright
For the girls of the night.
It was early in the morning, after another long weekend of clubs, drugs and sex. Nicolette sat in the corner of her room, eyes staring into nothing, rocking backward and forward.
Her mouth felt dry. She ran her tongue over her lips, painfully aware it wouldn't actually do anything to stop the cracking, shrivelling sensation that spread from inside out, not even if she partook of the Flowers of Ghede Nibo. She ran her hands over her naked arms, try to stop the shivering. She never liked the ghouls to see her like this. They'd get fretful, and start worrying that they had done something wrong- even months of constant reassurances couldn't undo the damage that Wellington had done to them.
"Some lovers can rejoice- we don't have a choice, we just know we have to give..."
It felt wrong, serving as a Regnant, even to these poor, lost ghouls. She hated the thought that she might hurt them one day, might turn away from them as her Lord and Sire had turned away from her.
She bit back a dry, heartless sob, forcing herself to not think of the man that had loved her, had promised to make her perfect- and then replaced her with some new pretty thing as soon as she was gone. Two hundred years of service and belief and worship, now lying still with a stake of wood in his heart- when the term of his sentence was up, he probably wouldn't even remember her.
"That's why the day can never be bright, for the girls of the night..."
Tribulation brings Enlightenment. That's what Maman Latour had taught her. But too much could break. But She never gave more than Her children could endure, right? Even if she was broken, there was some purpose to it, right, some rebuilding?
She needed someone to serve, to give her direction. Makoto had vanished into the night, Claude was gone, Maman Akuete and Maman Kincaid were surely busy with their own business, and there was no Hierophant in Sydney anymore- there was no one left. She was left in charge of a small gaggle of ghouls with no one to advise her, and without advice, she was lost.
"Lucy, do you really need to fill your heart with empty dreams? You'll always be what you are - stop chasing that distant star..."
And worst of all, there was the one that she couldn't think about, lest it drive her mad with helplessness, but only remember in peripheral thoughts, in the sensation of teeth brushing against flesh her shoulder and the scent of feather oil mixed in with her hair.
She looked up the roof, eyes not seeing anything, voice cracking over the notes of the song, trying desperately to think of anything but what wasn't anymore. She had a duty, and somewhere to stay, and people who needed her. Wasn't that enough?
"Ask me to share your fantasies, dear, but don't ask me where tomorrow is. Don't ask me where to find happiness, though I know for sure where sorrow is..."
"Nicolette, are you alright?"
One of the ghouls popped his head around the door, and his eyes widened with concern as he crossed the room, lifting her to her feet by the arms.
"Oh, Nicolette, please, you need to get up. Come on, your Ceridwyn wouldn't want to see you like this, would she?"
Ceridwyn. The name pierced her sorrow like a knife to the heart. Hierophant, lover, best friend, saviour, dead and gone and it was all her fault.
The ghoul didn't seem to notice Nicolette become more withdrawn for a moment, and continued chattering.
"Come on now, let's get you into bed for the day, shall we? Get you nice and comfortable, and we'll see if we can't get some of the boys in here to keep you company, spice things up for you a little..."
She smiled numbly, because that's what she was was expected to do.
"Yes. That would be lovely."
That's why the day can never be bright
For the girls of the night.